with each passing year in recovery, the challenges I face become more intricate. it is unclear whether this is due to clarity of focus, or because the responses are have matured because “fuck it” is no longer the 1st response. either way, it is understood that thinking through the consequences of decisions has become the response of choice in lieu of impulse reaction. and damn! this can be confusing.
life has never been better all the while it has never been more mysterious. try as I might, it is uncertainty and fear that cause the most concern. I hope that writing about this does not indicate defeat, but does reflect insight.
only time will tell when coming up for air.