holy flying carpet batman

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”

recommit

this is something i feel really needs to be part of my program. early in the sober game i was flying around all over town.

i have found myself becoming somewhat of a recluse this last year. i am seeing less people, engaged in less social activities, less travel, less dinners out, no dinner parties in, and few phone chats. i have gained lbs, have seen way too much tv, and may have cloaked myself in a crocheted throw made of lethargy.

part of this may be burnout. part of this may be other things. i have not even been going to meetings which i did for the first 2/3 of my recovery.

i visited my longstanding  home group last sunday and i felt a little sense of renew. i miss that group share process and i miss talking (not that i don’t talk enough on a daily basis)

 

 

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2 replies

  1. Rod. You know the game. And how to play it. Three things matter in sobriety. Meeting makers make it, a sponsor is a necessity, and reading the book is paramount. Almost 13 years here and I make 4 meetings a week, I call my sponsor EVERY day, just hearing his voice is comfort, because I know he has my back. I have two sponsees that rely on my ability to help them, because we were in the right place at the right time. That is a new addition to my sobriety after such a long spell of just representing at a meeting. I am working my steps once again, and reading the book. My guys are cross addicted, so I am studying the M.A. book in order to augment their journeys. Your sobriety is what you make of it depending on the time you invest in it. You yourself above have noted your issues. You are too busy living life and working “work” and your meetings have fallen by the wayside.

    The order should be that you order your life around your meetings, and NOT your meetings around your life. I can guarantee you that this is true. If we don’t do the ground work, we will stagnate and quite possibly find our ways out the door. Your work keeps you on your toes, but maybe you need to reconnect with your meetings for fresh perspective. You may find that the group will fill you with joy and serenity that you can then in turn use with the work you do. If you aren’t enjoying your sobriety to the fullest, Why Not? And what do you need to bump up and reintegrate into your weekly schedule. An hour here or there isn’t a lot of time, But time well spent. This is your journey. And we only get one pass, there is no retry. This is all we got. Make it count.

    Jeremy

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  2. as always many thanks for sharing your insight. i often times struggle with denying my own feelings about my situation. my desire in my recovery is to reach the point of being able to encounter and process my feelings without feeling shamed or inappropriate. and i try to not be so naive as to think that this may just always be a fantasy but i have that desire none-the-less. i facilitate 6 groups a week around substance use and recovery. at times i feel this is plenty. and i have found a place to be at peace with this perspective. i prefer not to go to participate because i must, but rather because i want to be there. and i am okay with this as well.
    my sponsor passed away 1 year and 1/2 ago- i have not encountered (or more likely been open to) anyone with whom i care to transition. i became enamored with a recovery advocacy organization 2 years ago- during my friends’ illness and passing and walked away from both those situations feeling drained and misled- combined with my grief and loss – and i have been hibernating.
    i dare not feel badly for protecting myself and detaching from groups that are not always so healthy and not always connected with healthy boundaries.
    i do appreciate the sayings, the jargon, and the ideals that the program offer. i am in awe of the entire 12 step process. i also believe that it is a design for living and not a life. this is not said to be appropriate for anyone but me.
    i have learned in my process that where i am in my life is ultimately okay. i am not perfect, i will make bad calls, i will be selfish, i will fall short of my own ideals and expectations and i continuously take on more than i can really handle. i have also learned that i also make good calls. i have been of assistance to others- sometimes abundantly more than my peers, i practice generosity, i work towards humility, and i can bring a smile to others’ faces.
    if this is as good as it gets- i am working to be okay with that.
    living with a chemical imbalance requires as much tending to as my sobriety. sometimes my days start and end with emotionality that is outside a “norm”. and if that is “as good as it gets” then i wanna be good with that as well.
    i was thrilled i wanted to participate at my home group. for the last year, i have not held that particular feeling. and to be present and feeling not-positive has not seemed wholesome or helpful.
    i am rambling now j- but so you know- i am honestly not trying to be flip about my recovery- nor about my moods. i am just trying to be okay… thanks always for being there.

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