next i found myself walking out of nieman marcus last call with 2 pair of trousers by james jeans- one cinnamon one green. this next purchase followed a green, blue, and white striped shirt from nordstrom with a similarly striped tank to layer beneath. i then found a pair of tan oxfords with red soles and gray oxfords with yellow soles. suddenly i zipped to macy’s to get a butter and white colored buffalo plaid shirt, an orange zip cardigan from saks off 5th, an orange and a blue sweater- both by izod, a couple of gray overshirts, lime green tank, a hot pink tee, an orange tee, and a vivid yellow tee.
this may represent a manic-fueled shopping period, and it may represent another coming out. i don’t really know. i do know that i love clothes, i hate shopping, but have gotten pretty damn good at it. now the second layer of coming out is finding the right places and ways to infuse this new aspect of my wardrobe and my lifestyle. i have become a homebody over the last few years which provides very little reason to don color.
as i have rearranged my closet to make room for the new additions and have put together a healthy bag of donations to the dayshelter for homeless hiv positive folks, i realize that although i have added hangers full of color, when i put it on and think about leaving the house, it somehow feels like the clothes belong to other people.
maybe somewhere down deep besides being who i am, i am other people too.